Years sure are rolling by quickly these days right? I feel like it was just July 2017. So much has changed since then. And at the same time, pretty much stayed the same. Life is funny that way - hilarious is a better term. Yet here I am again. Weeks away from the anniversary of my birth, contemplating all the things I can change to become the woman I feel destined to be.
There are all the feels - all the feels that a DaVida facing 42 didn't have say 20 years ago. So much pressure - pressure to be more, do more and achieve more before my time is up. Pressure to present a demeanor of calm and civility in an irrational world. Pressure to look how I did when I was 22 but not bring along the insecurities and ill feelings that youth carried. Pressure to remain faithful when it appears as though I'm all tapped out on favors from God and the Universe. Pressure in my knees - what happens to the knees pass 30? Pressure to be the woman I said I'd be if I ever got a good man. Pressure to take care of my aging loved ones the way they took care of a growing and evolving me. Pressure to live up to the dreams of the ancestors. Pressure to be on. Pressure to rise up to the expectations that I've set for myself. The pressure is real.
Someone said pressure makes diamonds.
I do like to shine.
I want to shine so bright this year and for the years that follow I want to experience an internal shift that causes personal combustion resulting in my hydrogen and carbon monoxide levels to come in such a way that my shine becomes so luminescent I can't dim it. This shine will have lingering effects - like everything I touch, contemplate and encounter will work for my good. I want to have a solid connection with the pen - the words I write shall free folk up. I want the positive power of the tongue - when I am on the phone or in meetings pitching people and ideas, I want my words to intoxicate folk into hiring my clients and funding our projects. I want the walk of a wise woman who has been here before and knows how to manifest better for she and her family. I want the fortitude to stand firm for my beliefs or my lack of concern for the issues of the day that don't move me. I want to wield my power and control to paint my life in the way I envision.
Birthdays are magical.
Celebrating another turn around Earth is a spectacular event so is it so far fetched that one can manifest and call in true desires during their anniversary on the planet? I think not. This is the time for me to do what I innately know. Time to pray, believing that my prayers are already answered. Time to create, feeling that my work has a place in the world. Time to love, knowing that my love and support will be returned 10-fold.
It is my time.
My season. My month. My time.