How Free?

“Freedom is not something that anybody can be given. Freedom is something people take, and people are as free as they want to be.” ― James Baldwin

I want to be free and that desire led me to see what or who was keeping me bound.

Imagine my shock when I found out it was me! There was no high powered white man cracking the preverbal whip, no family matriarch looking down on me, no authority figure waiting to beat my ass into submission. Nope none of those. My thoughts, my beliefs, my actions. All of that was leading to my bondage. Held captive to a myriad of self-inflicted torment. Aggressive physical and mental abuse in a variety of forms including but not limited: self sabotage, fear, martyrdom, doubt, lack, inadequacy, seeking validation outside of myself, lies, hurt, poor diet and drama.

But now that I know what keeps me bound, can I just walk away and step into my freedom? How free do I really want to be? No REALLY? If I truly desired freedom, wouldn't I be able to step right into it? Shake off those shackles like they were a polaroid? Start fresh and forge a new path free of all those things that no longer serve me. Free to just be me.

Yet freedom remains elusive...